When we first started dating, our relationship was rocky and unsteady. I was working a full-time job at a restaurant, which meant that I had to go home after work and do all of the cooking for myself. My boyfriend was also starting his career as an attorney and didn’t have much time for hobbies or entertainment. The two of us were strangers until we met in college, where we both went on to become lawyers (and bachelors) while living together in one apartment complex. Despite our many differences (from very different upbringings), we fell in love quickly and married within six months of meeting each other. It wasn’t long before my husband started asking me questions about what it means to be married—specifically my thoughts on being a wife and mother—and I realized that I needed some help getting into the right mindset if this new phase of life was going to be successful for me as well!
I asked myself: How can he feel supported by me? What do I need from him in order not only support him but also understand his needs? Or better yet: how can those things happen simultaneously? After some thought, these five guidelines emerged from my inner dialogue:
When you feel alone, share that with your partner.
When you feel alone, share that with your partner.
When we were in a tough spot, our relationship was the only thing that didn’t make us crumble. It kept us together and gave us strength when we needed it most. Our relationship is what got us through all of this—and now that we’ve been able to heal and move forward, I can say without hesitation: I would do it again in an instant!
Never go to bed angry.
We all know that it’s important to avoid going to bed angry, but we also know that sometimes it’s hard. We’ve all had days where you wanted to talk about something with your partner, but ended up falling asleep without saying anything at all. And then there are those times when you need space from each other: maybe one person has been stressed out lately and needs some time away from the relationship; maybe one of you has had a long week and wants some alone time; or maybe both of you just need some reassurance that everything is fine in spite of whatever happened during the day!
Whatever the case may be, if either or both people are feeling bad about themselves today (or yesterday), consider taking an evening off from each other before bedtime so they can work through whatever issues they have without having them affect how much sleep they get over night.
Tuck your partner in even when you’re mad at them.
We’ve all been there. You’re in the middle of a fight with your partner, and suddenly you hear them crying or screaming for help as they throw things around the house.
It’s so tempting to yell back at them, but that’s not really how we want our relationship to go. Instead, try tucking them in when they’re upset by saying something like: “Hey babe! Are you okay?” Or even better: “I’m sorry about earlier.” It might not seem like much (and maybe it doesn’t), but those words can mean so much more than just an apology—they can be seen as support from someone who cares about their partner and wants the best for them too!
Recognize each other’s strengths and acknowledge them.
The second step to being a supportive couple is acknowledging each other’s strengths and acknowledging them. This can be difficult, especially if one person feels like they’re doing all the work in the relationship. It’s important not only to recognize these things, but also to make sure that both parties feel appreciated for their contributions as well.
When one partner recognizes another’s strengths and acknowledges them, it shows that they care about what makes their partner happy—and it reassures both partners that they’re not just taking advantage of someone who works hard for them financially or emotionally (which would be detrimental). It also helps ensure that no one gets stuck in an unhealthy pattern where neither person does anything except take care of themselves through passive-aggressive behavior towards other people outside of the relationship—and this can lead into resentment over time if nothing changes.
It’s okay if someone wants help from someone else; everybody needs some sort of support system from time to time! When we were feeling overwhelmed by our lives at times during this journey together…we knew we needed each other more than ever before because no matter how much I wanted independence from him back then…he still knew exactly how much I needed him too!
Make sure you’re both feeling appreciated.
When you’re feeling down, it’s easy to forget that your partner has their own problems. Sometimes we just need to talk about what’s going on in our lives and hear how things are going for them too.
Don’t expect your partner to solve all of your problems for you—but don’t be afraid of asking for help if it’s needed! If there are any issues between the two of you, make sure that both parties feel appreciated by acknowledging each other’s strengths as well as weaknesses. Even small gestures go a long way towards building trust and intimacy in a relationship: making breakfast together on weekends or taking out the trash together after dinner may seem like small things at first glance but these little acts show genuine care from one another which can turn into huge rewards later on down the road when those same gestures come back around again (and again).
We may not have been able to afford an awesome bed and headboard, but we made do with what we had.
- You’ve probably heard that you should get a good mattress, but what does that mean?
- How can you tell if your mattress is worth the cost?
- What’s the best way to keep your new bed from getting ruined or stained by sweat or blood?
- If you’re like us and have found yourself with a bad mattress after years of use, how do you fix it?
The answer lies in understanding how our bodies function on a physical level—and then finding out whether or not those functions are supported by something more luxurious than what we had before (which was likely just springs).
Do the little things to make your partner feel cared for and supported.
- Do the little things to make your partner feel cared for and supported.
- This might be as simple as taking out the trash or washing dishes, but it’s important that you do these things regularly. They help build trust in your relationship and show that you care about each other.
- How often should I do them? It depends on how often your partner needs help with their chores, but try to do it at least once a week if possible. If they don’t mind getting more involved with housework than they used to be able to handle because of this support system, then great! But if not…well…there are other ways we can still show our love!
After he’s tucked me in at night, I’ll tuck him in too, even if I’ve fallen asleep on the couch while watching a movie and am tired enough to just roll over into my own bed.
When I feel like I’ve done nothing to deserve this person’s love, it’s easy to get angry and lash out. But the truth is that we all need other people in our lives—and sometimes those people are the ones who are there when things are bad.
When your partner tucks you in at night and kisses you goodnight, make sure they know how much it means to see them at least once a day. Even if they’re not perfect or always make sure that everything goes right or says exactly what’s on their mind…it matters! It matters so much that even when I’m mad at them (which happens quite often), I still want them around me because without them my life would be empty and void of any meaning whatsoever (not really).
Talk about times in your life when you felt most supported by others, then brainstorm ways your partner can recreate that feeling for you.
- Don’t be afraid to ask for help! It’s okay if someone doesn’t want to do something, especially if it’s something that won’t make them feel good or look good on the other person (or both). This is also true of things like cooking dinner and cleaning up after yourself—people are entitled to their own preferences, so don’t take it personally when they say no or even just don’t want to do something right now/ever!
- Don’t be afraid to say no! If someone asks what they can do for you right now without any hesitation whatsoever (like if they offer some kind of service) then kindly decline with grace and dignity: “No thank you!” That person might not understand why this request makes sense because they’ve never been asked before; however, those who know how important self-care is will understand immediately what needs doing first before anything else could happen – whether it’s taking a shower first thing in morning before heading out into world again after spending all night working hard at jobs which sometimes require long hours away from home base trying hard enough until finally realizing how tired one feels physically tired mentally tired spiritually tired emotionally drained physically drained mentally drained spiritually depleted emotionally depleted physically depleted mentally exhausted spiritually exhausted physically exhausted mentally exhausted spiritually depleted emotionally depleted socially destroyed socially annihilated socially beaten down socially defeated socially humiliated socially ridiculed publicly humiliated socially defamed publicly defamed publicly disrespected publicly dishonored publicly disgraced privately shameful private shame
Sometimes the smallest gestures mean the most
When you’re in a relationship and you find yourself feeling down, it’s important to remember that whatever small thing your partner does for you can make all the difference. Whether it be holding hands or kissing them on their forehead, these acts can be meaningful and help remind us that our partners are really there for us. It’s also important to remember that no matter how much time passes between interactions with each other or how many miles separate us from one another, our love doesn’t fade away because we’ve been apart for too long; rather than being jealous of any other person who happens along during those moments when we do see one another again (and vice versa), allow yourself time alone with your spouse after an argument so that both parties can process what happened without interruption from outside sources such as friends or family members who may not always understand why things happen between two people who care deeply about each other but aren’t always perfect at communicating their feelings verbally during stressful times like this one might bring forth!
I know it sounds cliché, but we’ve found that these guidelines have helped us feel supported and loved in a way that nothing else could. We’re still not perfect at them—in fact, we still fight like any couple—but they have given us something to strive for, and they’ve helped us live happier lives together. And who knows? Maybe one day soon there will be more than two of us who use some version of these relationship rules.